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30 days of me challenge: DAY 8

List out your highs and lows of the following year-

Since we’re already in the eighth month of 2016, a lot has happened, and a lot is yet to happen.

I believe that the best is yet to come, but 2016 has been a year of unfamiliarity. Let me start off with the Highs of 2016.

  • I graduated high school on January 23rd, 2016, right at the beginning of the year. Everything about senior year was a highlight, literally, everything. I had gotten so comfortable there that I never wanted to leave. I have some unforgettable moments from that place: those that I’ll carry everywhere I go and those that will be a major part of the stories I’ll tell my grandkids about the life in 2016. Arguably, senior year was the best year of my life.

 

  • I scored a 92 percentage in my ICSE examination, which I am extremely proud of because it’s hard and the amount of effort you need to put in is a lot, and it’s also important to do well because it determines the college you get to attend.

 

  • This is probably the first time in three years that I made as many friends as I did this month, mostly because in a new college you meet so many new people every day, and I’d like to make more friends and make the best out of my two years of pre-university.

 

  • My dad moved to Pondicherry from Hyderabad (in case you’re a little weak in geography those are cities in India) and I’m happy about this because Pondicherry is closer to where I live than Hyderabad is, so I can visit him more often, and also because Pondicherry has amazing beaches.

 

As I said, I’m only getting started, and the best is yet to come!

Lows of 2016:

  • Leaving high school – This was extremely hard for me because I was so familiar with it and the deviation from a routine that I carried on for 12 years was difficult to get accustomed to. I feel like I left a part of myself in that dingy, pre-independent stone building. I miss being there; it’s the only place where I actually felt like I fit in.

 

  • Hectic schedule – I’ve chosen the science stream for my pre-university course and it’s so bloody hard, my first class at college begins at 8.50 am and it ends at 3.10 p.m., then I have a couple of hours off, after which I need to rush to coaching sessions for engineering entrance tests which are from 5.30 pm to 9.30 pm every day until the summer of 2018. I have lost myself in this crazy whirlwind; I don’t even remember the last time I looked at the sky because the weather is so unpleasant.

 

  • Meeting people – I just realized that some of my highs and lows are overlapping. There was a certain number of people (okay, it was one person) who walked into my life unexpectedly, out of nowhere, and what we shared was beautiful. I’ll always remember how I felt when I was with that person, how happy I was, how funny I felt, how smart I sounded, but that person also made me feel emotionally weak and vulnerable, almost pathetically gullible, and when this person walked out of my life, they also took with them the part of me that felt all these things and left me exposed emotionally, which I hate because I’m not an expressive person and when you are not a generally expressive person, any sign of emotion you reveal will be deemed as a weakness. It’s been a while and I’m over it, but I am unsure of whether this is a high or a low point of my life, because it made me feel both happy and sad at the same time; I’ll forever wonder which emotion was stronger.

 

These were my highs and lows of the present year so far. Do let me know yours below and if any of mine overlap with yours.

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30 days of me challenge: DAY 7 

3 biggest pet peeves:

If you’ve been friends with me at any point in your life, you’ll know that I’m a difficult person to please. I don’t get carried away by the appearances and you need to really have a strong personality to leave a lasting impression on me. Three of my biggest pet peeves are :

1) When they’re pretentious – I hate pretentious people, and nothing pisses me off more than someone pretending to be someone they’re not. I love it when one is undeniably oneself. Nothing is hotter than confidence.

2) When they’re mean or bitter – It’s healthy and normal to sometimes lose your cool, but they’re some people who’re always mean and bitter, they just give out such bad vibes that it’s almost impossible for me to hold a conversation with them. If I’ve learnt anything in life, it is to always surround oneself with optimism because in a world full of evil, it’s hard to remain happy.

3) People with no ambition –  I’m not a judgmental person and I respect everyone’s right to live on their own terms, but there are people who don’t care about life at all. They have no ambition and have no drive to create. All they care about is getting high and partying.

What are your biggest pet peeves?

 

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30 days of me challenge: DAY 6

Write a letter to someone who hurt you recently.

 

Dear XYZ,

 

I didn’t want to write a letter to you because I didn’t want you to think that I had given you enough power to hurt me, but I’ve come to the realization that I did open up to you and you did hurt me and leave cold and unattended to. After everything that I ever did for you, all you ever gave me are broken promises and faded memories.

 

I’m not a bitter person and I’ll never be one, but hearing your name makes me flinch. No one has ever frustrated me as much as you have; no one has ever made me feel as pathetic as you have. You left me wondering why I was never enough for you to stay on.

 

I will remember you as a mistake, forever – a mistake that taught me to love myself. You caused me a lot of pain, distress and guilt; moreover, you left me directionless. Your departure from my life was abrupt, cold and disastrous. I promise you, forgetting me is not going to be easy for you. You will look for me in all those size two girls you lay your eyes on. You will regret knowing me because I’m the best you could ever get. Losing me will be chaotic. I hope you get lost in your own labyrinth of self-proclaimed misery, because I will break free from the clasps of your existence and move on to better people.

 

I don’t hate you; after all, you aren’t worth hating. If anything, you made feel alive. Even for a brief moment, you made me feel needed; you made me feel invincible, but slowly invisible. You are immature; you will grow up and realize that your insecurities are what made you cold.

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30 days of me challenge: DAY 5

 

My short term goals:

 

These obviously differ from my long term goals but as long as I’m accomplishing these, I’m on the road to my long term goals.

 

1) To work on my academics- This sounds stupid, but it’s extremely necessary that I do, because I’m a science student. The competition to getting into a good engineering school is unimaginable. Almost 1.5 million people compete for 10,000 seats. You have to put in tremendous effort in order to get into a good university.

 

2) To work out- I used to be fit when I was younger, but lately I’ve not had the time to hit the gym or even go for a run. I want to be healthy and fit.

 

3) To take things as they come- This is something I’ve stressed about before, I over-analyse and overlook the silver lining. I’ve realized that I need to let things go because most often the things we hold on to cause us more pain then letting it go.

 

4) To socialize- I have always been slightly fastidious with the kind of people I hang out with, but lately I’ve realized that it is very important to know all kinds of people- those who follow a different religion, or whose first language isn’t the same as yours, or whose goals aren’t identical to yours; that’s how you grow.

 

5) To use my time productively- I’m the queen of procrastination, which means I only work well under deadline, otherwise there is no work done. I’ve come to the understanding that this method of working is a hindrance to my getting into a good college. I need to utilize every day to the maximum; although I’m not there yet.

 

6) To take a break- I need at least an hour to myself, or else all hell will break lose when I get frustrated and irritated. With such a busy schedule, I take a lot of ‘break’ days just to laze around, read a book, and watch a movie, write, or go out with my friends. This is absolutely necessary to keep me from going insane.

 

7) To stop worrying- Even if you’ve known me for a short period of time, you’ll be familiar with the way I talk and the words I constantly use. Whenever something upsets me or bothers me and I can’t control it, I get really flustered but I always try to let it go. “It won’t matter when I’m 38” is something you’ll hear me say quite often. I decided a while ago not to worry about things, people, or events that won’t affect me in the long run; or when I’m 38 and settled down in life.

 

8) To allow myself to be happy- I read this post somewhere which said “Happiness is a choice that sometimes requires effort”. I tend to get carried away with my emotions. Although tumblr makes sadness seem cute, it’s not. There’s nothing poetic about perpetual melancholy. The world needs more happy characters- the ones that live with an optimistic and zealous disposition.

 

These are my short term goals. What are yours?

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30 days of me challenge : DAY 4

Three books you would find on my bookshelf:

 

Although I have way more than three books on my bookshelf, there are a few that I go back to, time after time. I like books that make me think and reflect on life, and I’m not talking about those self-help ‘How to be happy/successful/rich’ books. I’m talking about the books that bring perspective through a story or a tale. I like simple stories that have the power to convey much more than a sci-fi or a Dan Brown book (I was obsessed with Dan Brown for a while, but then he got repetitive). It’s like you read a book and when you complete it, all you can do is think about it on repeat and then you go through this unfathomable stage of denial with reality. That’s the kind of book that I’d go back to; the ones which each time I pick, speak to me a different story.

 

Book 1: ‘The Alchemist’ by Paulo Coelho

Book 2: ‘Catcher in the Rye’ by J.D. Salinger

Book 3: ‘Looking for Alaska’ by John Green