30 days of me challenge: DAY 9

A habit that I wish I didn’t have: 

There are two habits I wish I hadn’t cultivated over the years. I have no idea how I picked these up, although I highly suspect that it’s from my parents. 

The first one would definitely be- my procrastination habit. I’m literally the laziest person ever and if there is no deadline, I legit cannot get things done. Every time, I remind myself to start early and finish my work, I decide to binge watch a show that I don’t even like. I almost failed in math paper, recently because I had put off learning those lessons from so long and I had no time or motivation in the end to learn them. I wish I hadn’t gotten into the habit of doing everything last minute because there’s a lot I want to so and create but I ended up wasting so much time that I barely have time for the things I’m supposed to do let alone the things I want to do. 

The second habit I’d like to get rid of is- to be overly in control of my emotions. I tend to get extremely sensitive, and sometimes at some things that are completely irrelevant. I get very attached to people and when they slightly deviate from the their behaviour towards me, I always assume it’s because of me or something that I did. I don’t know if it’s because I’m insecure of the stability of my relationships, or my disability to sustain relationships. I don’t know what exactly it is but I feel responsible for the sadness around me even if it is not directly related to me. It may be due to the fact that I’m always the optimistic one in the room and I feel really bad when others don’t see the same light. I want to be able to control my emotions towards people but at the same time I don’t want to lose my sensitivity. I feel everyone is unempathatic and cynical, and whenever I come across such people. It motivates me to stay positive. I’m always working towards controlling my emotions, too much can be overwhelming and too lightly can be cold. How do you draw the line? 



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